Parents of college students understandably look forward to the
winter holidays, when they get to spend time with their children again.
What they sometimes forget, though, is that the person coming to visit
is no longer a child. That cute kid is all grown up now and is finally
an adult buy cenforce, a reality that can lead to conflict. It happens more often
than you might think, too. While you may have one set of expectations,
your grown child might have another. For example, you might disagree
- The holiday schedule. You may want to spend every waking
minute with your child, but your home-for-the-holidays student may be
catching up with old friends or decompressing after a stressful
- Lifestyle. As an adult, your child is now used to living
independently. As a result, clashes can develop over curfews, alcohol
use, dating, and other behaviors.
- The daily routine. What you may see as laziness when your child sleeps in past noon may just be their way of catching up on lost sleep.
- Neatness. Once again, you find clothes, shoes, and other
stuff in piles on the floor. You thought they'd have outgrown that, but
- Chores. What happened to filling the dishwasher and taking
out the garbage, you wonder? Suddenly your child is acting like a person
It's easy to see how scenarios like these can spark conflict. But
that won't make your holidays very enjoyable. What does help is a little
compromise. Be willing to accept that your child has grown into an
independent adult. But at the same time, insist on being treated with
the respect and consideration you deserve. It is your home, after all.
- Plan ahead. Have a conversation before your child gets home
or just shortly thereafter. Ask how your child wants to spend the
holidays. Explain what you hope to get out of the visit as well. Try to
agree on a few family or one-on-one get-togethers to put on the
- Compromise. Decide what's important to you and let go of the
small things (like the messy bedroom) so you can get agreement on the
- Communicate. Things go easier when everyone knows what to
expect. If your child plans on staying out late, for instance, you
should be told about it. By the same token, let your own wishes and
expectations be known as well.
- Keep it in perspective. Your child may do or say things that
annoy you, but try not to take it personally. Getting angry won't solve
anything. Why not step aside and let your son or daughter explore
adulthood for themselves?
- Live your own life. Make plans with friends and stick to your
usual routine. Don't put everything on hold on the off chance your
child will have time for you. That could be a recipe for disappointment.
- Enjoy each other. Embrace the adult your child has become,
even if it's not exactly what you expected. Just because the
relationship is different now doesn't mean it's necessarily bad.
Lastly, remember that winter holidays can last a month or even
longer. That's a long time to wage battles and harbor resentments. Don't
let unrealistic expectations put a damper on things. Instead, work on
building a new relationship Visit healthlinerx, one that will outlast the holidays and
sustain the both of you for years to come.