Home for the Holidays: Surviving Your College Kid's Winter Break
2021.09.07 17:48
작성자 : joebing    조회 : 6  

Sparks sometimes fly when college kids come back home for the holidays. Here are some ways you can keep that from happening this year.

Parents of college students understandably look forward to the winter holidays, when they get to spend time with their children again. What they sometimes forget, though, is that the person coming to visit is no longer a child. That cute kid is all grown up now and is finally an adult buy cenforce, a reality that can lead to conflict. It happens more often than you might think, too. While you may have one set of expectations, your grown child might have another. For example, you might disagree over:

  • The holiday schedule. You may want to spend every waking minute with your child, but your home-for-the-holidays student may be catching up with old friends or decompressing after a stressful semester.
  • Lifestyle. As an adult, your child is now used to living independently. As a result, clashes can develop over curfews, alcohol use, dating, and other behaviors.
  • The daily routine. What you may see as laziness when your child sleeps in past noon may just be their way of catching up on lost sleep.
  • Neatness. Once again, you find clothes, shoes, and other stuff in piles on the floor. You thought they'd have outgrown that, but apparently not.
  • Chores. What happened to filling the dishwasher and taking out the garbage, you wonder? Suddenly your child is acting like a person on vacation.

It's easy to see how scenarios like these can spark conflict. But that won't make your holidays very enjoyable. What does help is a little compromise. Be willing to accept that your child has grown into an independent adult. But at the same time, insist on being treated with the respect and consideration you deserve. It is your home, after all.

  • Plan ahead. Have a conversation before your child gets home or just shortly thereafter. Ask how your child wants to spend the holidays. Explain what you hope to get out of the visit as well. Try to agree on a few family or one-on-one get-togethers to put on the calendar.
  • Compromise. Decide what's important to you and let go of the small things (like the messy bedroom) so you can get agreement on the major issues.
  • Communicate. Things go easier when everyone knows what to expect. If your child plans on staying out late, for instance, you should be told about it. By the same token, let your own wishes and expectations be known as well.
  • Keep it in perspective. Your child may do or say things that annoy you, but try not to take it personally. Getting angry won't solve anything. Why not step aside and let your son or daughter explore adulthood for themselves?
  • Live your own life. Make plans with friends and stick to your usual routine. Don't put everything on hold on the off chance your child will have time for you. That could be a recipe for disappointment.
  • Enjoy each other. Embrace the adult your child has become, even if it's not exactly what you expected. Just because the relationship is different now doesn't mean it's necessarily bad.

Lastly, remember that winter holidays can last a month or even longer. That's a long time to wage battles and harbor resentments. Don't let unrealistic expectations put a damper on things. Instead, work on building a new relationship Visit healthlinerx, one that will outlast the holidays and sustain the both of you for years to come.